Simmer-Down Sunday: On Stock Splits And Social Media Fits

Elon Musk Tesla Options Market Meme

Do Elons Dream Of Social Meeds?

Well … do they?

Sure, ol’ Musky the maybe-media-manipulator might tease and tempt the media mavens and the “muh free speechers” with images of a new, green, unmoderated social media pasture.

But do you actually think the Tesla (Nasdaq: TSLA) CEO’s hints at creating a new social media platform will actually come to fruition?

What I'd miss keep Greatness flowing meme

Weird way to start a Sunday, Great Stuff. How about we don’t and say we did?

You tell me: Do you dream of “free speech” -based social media … at least according to someone’s definition of it, anyway?

Or rather, why is ol’ Elon wasting time figuring out the next social media platform-of-blunders instead of … you know … making Teslas?

Sure, I could see the Twitterholics digging Musk’s new virtual digs, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 feet through an announcer’s table.

Also don’t let it distract you from the fact that Elon extended the Shanghai, China Tesla plant’s closure. No one expects the Shanghai shutdown! Just like no one anticipates another another Tesla stock split!

So what’s the deal with that Tesla stock split anyhow — and why did it have Wall Street raving as much as it did? Was it really about covering up potential plant problems and pessimism?

Plant-based pessimism? Positively preposterous!

I mean, in theory, a stock split doesn’t fundamentally change a stock … right?

If we’re talking about uber-expensive stocks like the Googles and Amazons of the market, splitting the stock would bring each share down to a somewhat reasonable price-per-share for the average investor.

But if the cost of entry is really your biggest concern, y’all are trading fractional shares anyway, no?

Don’t you talk trash about my 0.0087 shares of Tesla, dude.

Oh, I won’t (publicly). But ask yourself: What really caused Tesla stock to jump as much as it did if nothing truly changed for stock investors?

I’ll save you from writing in: It’s because Tesla’s stock split means more for the options market than all y’all solely stock investors.

As Matt Levine, author of some seriously great stuff over at Bloomberg Opinion, explains:

If you want to buy listed call options, you have to buy them in contracts of 100 shares… Listed options have to trade on the exchange, the exchange has 100-share contracts, and you can’t get around that by buying half a contract from a market maker…

So if you want to buy a Tesla call option struck at $1,100 expiring on April 14, you’ll pay about $5,500 for one contract ($55 per share for 100 shares). If Tesla did a 10-for-1 stock split, you could buy options for as little as $550.

Y’all hear that way in the back?

Tesla’s options could (in theory) get a whole lot cheaper to trade … or to gamble with on the app-based platform of your choosing. Oh boy…

What do you think, Great Ones? Do we have any Tesla option slingers in our midst? Anyone selling calls on this sucker? Let me know in the inbox below!

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Pot Stock Prices Federal Legalization Meme

Flower To The People

With the House set to vote on several bills decriminalizing marijuana this year, investors are now starting to price in the possibility of full federal legalization — setting pot stocks ablaze.