Welcome to Jungle Amazon Peloton partnership meme

Ride Through The Jungle

Whoa, thought it was a nightmare. Lord, it was so true.

They told me don’t ride your stationary bike slow. Peloton’s (Nasdaq: PTON) on the loose.

Better run through the jungle?

What I'd miss keep Greatness flowing meme

Great Ones, Peloton’s back.

Back again?

Yup. Shady’s back, but you don’t have to tell a friend … Amazon will do that for you.

Peloton announced this morning that it has partnered up with Amazon.com (Nasdaq: AMZN) to sell more Pelotons and Peloton accessories.

Hank Hill would be proud.

I don’t think so, Tim.

But we’ll see if this somewhat desperate move this late in the retail game helps Peloton salvage its dwindling prospects.

Not all Peloton products are slated to hit Amazon’s digital shelves, though.

So far, the partnership only includes selling the original Bike, which sports a price tag of $1,445, and the Peloton Guide — which is a TV-mounted camera pitched as a so-called “strength product.” Guide sells for $295, by the way.

Not included in the Amazon tie-up are the more expensive Bike+ and Tread, the Peloton treadmill.

According to Peloton Chief Commercial Officer Kevin Cornils, Amazon sees about half a million Peloton product searches a month, so the move to sell there was a no-brainer:

Post-Covid, the retail environment — online and in stores — is continuing to evolve, and that’s something that we’re trying to understand better to make sure the Peloton of the future is calibrated appropriately for that. We want to make it as easy as possible to get a Peloton.

Calibrated for post-COVID retail? Isn’t that just like pre-COVID retail? I’m confused as to what we’re calibrating for.

Oh, he means getting back to normal after the ridiculous bump in revenue from when everyone was locked inside. That kind of calibrating.

Kevin, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but … it works the same way as before. Just without all the added stay/work-at-home BS speculation thrown in.

Stationary bike work out every day I said meme

Honestly, this is an excellent move for Peloton. Amazon has the world’s biggest online retail marketplace, after all. I’m just surprised it took Peloton this long to realize that the solution to one of its biggest problems — shipping — was right there all along.

I’m less inclined to ask: “Why is Peloton striking a deal with Amazon?” than I am to ask: “Why did it take Peloton so long to strike a deal with Amazon?”

I mean, even Apple (Nasdaq: AAPL) sells products on Amazon. And it’s one of the pickiest retailers in the world.

Now, I’m not saying that the Amazon deal will save Peloton from itself. But it will go a long way toward boosting sales and cutting overhead costs related to direct sales and shipping and whatnot.

Wall Street apparently agrees, as it sent PTON stock soaring more than 18% today.

It’s a good deal, naturally. But is it “18% rally” good? That remains to be seen. But given Peloton’s rocky track record so far, I’m not inclined to hold my breath.

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Going, Going...Gone!

Going: WOOF, There It Is

Eats bag goldfish everyone at Petco meme

Or rather … there it was.

While we’re talking about pandemic shopping habits … remember when everyone was adopting pets as lockdown companions and spending all that stimmy cash on toys, treats and random junk like cat teepees?

No, but I bet you’re going to tell me more about it.

Well, judging by Petco’s latest earnings, things aren’t looking great for the Fluffy Puppy Indicator

Or at least, that’s what I would be saying, had I not looked past the headlines of Petco’s (Nasdaq: WOOF) latest earnings report. Both revenue and earnings missed analysts’ targets, and it sure didn’t help that Petco also cut its revenue guidance for the year.

But underneath that dog-crap-smeared veneer is 3.8% growth in sales year over year — and a 23.5% jump over the past two years. Pay no attention to the massive earnings dive behind the curtain…

Petco’s earnings weren’t stellar by any means, but they weren’t horrendous. Sure, Petco isn’t seeing the explosive pandemic growth it used to, but it wasn’t going to anyway. Sales are holding their own, even at the expense of earnings. WOOF stock still fell 6% on the day though.

So is Wall Street expecting too much? Too little? What growth is enough growth when any growth is good growth?

Please just stop saying “growth.”

Going: Who’s La-Z now?

Go be lazy somewhere else flying couch meme

Completing our tale of two retailers … for La-Z-Boy (NYSE: LZB), it literally is the best of times. (Sorry, Petco.)

The company just posted a record quarter, with earnings totaling $0.91 per share and destroying estimates for $0.67 a share. Sales shot up 15%, bringing overall revenue to $604.1 million — comfortably higher than the $566.1 million analysts expected.

Retail sales in particular rose 30% on the quarter. Sorry again, Petco…

Now, pet retailers aside … La-Z-Boy’s report was outstanding, and the stock was up 5% on the news.

There’s a “but” coming, I can feel it.

But … is it that good of a report? I mean, other companies have reported better earnings and still fell, so…

I think we know the answer to the question we just raised about analysts’ expectations. It’s still all about expectations … and analysts clearly didn’t expect a damn thing out of La-Z-Boy.

Gone: EV Nicks

Xpeng Chinese stocks disappointing guidance meme

If retail earnings make you cry … make you break down … shatter your illusions of investing, don’t worry: It was only a matter of time before we got back to the electric vehicle (EV) shebang.

Today, Xpeng (NYSE: XPEV) investors are asking themselves: “Well is it over now? Do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home?”

C’mon, Gold Dust Woman, get to the point.

Fine, spoilsport: Xpeng posted a big earnings loss. Deliveries disappointed investors. Guidance wasn’t great because China’s COVID lockdowns are still a thing. That’s basically the whole story … and Wall Street can’t seem to get its head around it.

Xpeng expects to deliver between 29,000 and 31,000 vehicles in the third quarter, a range that’s about 40% lower than what analysts expected. And here we run into our ol’ familiar friends … analysts and their dang expectations.

So what are analysts missing in these estimates? That’s right: COVID, and specifically its resurgence in China. Now, it’s about time Wall Street acknowledged this impact … because this is China.

It’s still doing rolling COVID lockdowns — and not U.S.-style “lockdowns” either. These are Chinese lockdowns. You’re not buying anything. You’re not going anywhere. May Xi Jinping have mercy on your soul if you try.

Post-COVID Chinese consumers will be very reluctant to do anything that might get them in trouble, and that includes shopping … unfortunately for Xpeng.

And analysts still thought guidance would be 40% in this mess? Please.

If COVID was the only concern about Xpeng’s earnings report, it’d be a nothingburger. But the real concern is whether or not Xpeng will still be listed in New York come this time next year.

Remember … this is China. Just ask Alibaba (NYSE: BABA) investors how the delisting fears compound on top of that normal, post-pandemic pressure. They’ll tell ya. Anyway…

According to Ian King, the era of big gains for electric car makers is over. And that’s coming from the guy who told his readers to lock in an average gain of 736% in a little over a year on Tesla (Nasdaq: TSLA).

Instead, the big money in the EV space could come from a tiny stock critical to the entire EV revolution.

Click here for the full story.

If you have thoughts on any of today’s topics — and I know you do — write to us at GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com.

In the meantime, here’s where you can find our other junk — erm, I mean where you can check out some more Greatness:

Joseph Hargett. Editor of Great Stuff

Joseph Hargett
Editor, Great Stuff