Wall Street Waiting For Earnings Season Snow Skeleton Meme

Wall Street Hoth No Fury…

Is there anybody out there?!

Can anybody hear me?!

What I'd miss keep Greatness flowing meme

Dude, I’m right here. You don’t need to yell.

Oh, sorry … didn’t mean to go all Titanic on you.

You might not be able to tell by the frozen tundra wastelands outside the window, but the market’s just heating up for earnings season’s steamiest week yet.

Wall Street wasted no time rising from its frozen slumber today, taking off like a well-packed snowball as the tech-heavy Nasdaq rallied almost 2% before noon — and by the afternoon, everything was deep into green shooting rallies.

Team Great Stuff, on the other hand? We’re still … kinda hibernating.

I, for one, am glad the Wi-Fi can reach my blanket fort, albeit slowly. Like hot soup warming up yer’ innards, here are a few meaty morsels we thawed out of today’s iced-over market — Quick & Dirty style:

Halo Bungie Bought By Sony Meme

Sony Jumps On Bungie

You get a video game developer! You get a video game developer! Everyone’s buying up video game developers!

Never one to be outdone — especially by Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT), no less — Sony (NYSE: SONY) just announced that it’s taking the bungee plunge and buying game maker Bungie for $3.6 billion.

Woohoo! Sony is sticking it to old Softy.

Well … kinda? But also … not really.

Microsoft acquired Bungie back in 2000, and Bungie’s Halo helped launch the first Xbox. Bungie made a few more Halo games under the Microsoft umbrella before splitting off in 2007. After 2010, Microsoft’s 343 Industries took over the Halo franchise, with Bungie starting its insanely popular Destiny franchise.

Confused yet? Don’t be. Needless to say, Sony is buying up Bungie, which used to be a jewel of Microsoft’s game-making eye … but has since gone on to pursue its own, well, destiny. Bungie will surely make bank as an independent studio within Sony — think of the microtransaction revenue! — but frankly, it’s no Activision Blizzard.

Imma let you finish, but Microsoft had the best video game buyout of all time! Again!

And the biggest. Sony’s $3.6 billion Bungie buyout might look like chump change compared to the $69 billion that Microsoft dropped for Activision Blizzard, but one thing is for certain: Big tech sharks are circling and eating up smaller video game devs — yes, even you, Zynga.

Private Eyes

Cloud-computing company Citrix (Nasdaq: CTXS) can’t escape Vista Equity Partners’ private eyes — they’re watching its every move after offering to take Citrix private in a $16.5 billion all-cash acquisition.

Vista’s budding buyout closely follows Citrix’s conversion to a subscription-based model for its virtual-desktop services — a move that makes the company’s monthly revenue more predictable and consistent.

In the past, Citrix has struggled to live up to legacy cloud companies like Amazon (Nasdaq: AMZN) and Microsoft. But when more people started working from home thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, Citrix’s recurring revenue rolled in at a record rate … which explains why it caught Vista’s wandering eye.

For now, the jury’s still out on whether Citrix will be letting Vista in or letting it go. But should Citrix close the deal, CTXS shareholders can expect to cash checks at $104 per share for their stake in the cloud competitor.

However, considering Citrix traded for $105 following Friday’s close … I can see why CTXS investors were all like: “Baby, that ain’t enough,” and sent Citrix down on the day.

Romeo and Juliet BlackBerry Catapult Meme

Patent Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Prepare to say “good night, good night” to BlackBerry’s (NYSE: BB) chonky phone patents, Great Ones.

The pagermaker turned cell phone philanthropist turned cybersecurity sleuth just announced the final curtain call for all product patents outside of its “non-core” business segment.

Seeing as BlackBerry fancies itself a cybersecurity specialist these days, everything non-cybersecurity-related must go. That means patents for mobile devices, messaging and wireless networking — everything.

Ah man, even the weird cat’s eye scrolly wheel? No!!!

Lucky for Catapult IP Innovations Inc. — the name just rolls off the tongue, guys, nice job — BlackBerry’s selling off its legacy patents for just $600 million, and BlackBerry will still have a license back to its patents sold anyway.

All told, BB investors celebrated the quick cash injection with a 4% rally. You can’t beat money for old rope … or mobile phone patents, I guess.

Fake Meat, Real Tendies

Whale, whale, whale, if it isn’t our ol’ favorite imitation meat imitator … Beyond Meat (Nasdaq: BYND)! Since our last foray into the meatless meat market was such a glowing success — how’ya doing out there, Jenny? — I can’t wait to see what faux fun is in store today.

If you needed more proof that hype and analyst attention are the lifeblood of BYND stock, here’s your sign. Barclays analyst Benjamin Theurer upgraded BYND shares from underweight to overweight, also raising his price target from $70 to $80.

That’s it. That one upgrade is literally all it took for BYND to rally 15% today.

So, what’s Barclays so excited about? All those sweet, sweet pea protein partnerships Beyond’s been building up the past few months — from the McPlant rollout to Beyond’s Kentucky fried catastrophes.

I mean, considering Beyond’s retail sales haven’t been a supermarket sweep, it’s all up to the restaurants in Beyond’s “foodservicechannel,” as Theurer calls it, to pick up the slack.

Foodservicechannel — is that on cable or YouTube?

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Chart of the week

Riddle me this, Great Ones: Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

…all that space junk inside our orbit? Would you get, get, get Elon Musk, get the Musk to clean that junk?

All right, I think we need to end this lyrical interlude — pronto.

You think? When it comes to orbital space junk, my dudes, the one thing that isn’t up in the air is … well, how many things are up in the air.

‘Twas merely a month ago that we first brought up the whole space debris shebang, with international space agencies starting to mention things like “overcrowding” and “SpaceX’s dominance of the space economy.” You know, the typical fanfare.

Well, thanks to today’s Chart of the Week, we can now see just how much junk is up in the great beyond — intentionally or otherwise:

Space debris and waste increase

Who knew space was less like the Jetsons and more like the trashnado of chip packets and receipt paper outside a Walmart?

Clearly, the more payloads space companies send up, the more detritus they leave behind. And if earthbound littering is barely a slap on the wrist … the future ain’t looking all that great for space trash.

So why bring this up now? Just because?

Because, because, because … because of the orbital things he does! Elon Musk, that is.

Analysts, space companies and Elon Musk alike are expecting a banner year for launches, provided these launches get off the ground without any hiccups. Virgin Orbit and Virgin Galactic hope to ramp up their satellite and tourism schedules, respectively. And SpaceX?

Well, SpaceX is being SpaceX — stuck in the revolving door of delays, delays and more delays. Its latest satellite launch was scrubbed due to a cruise ship getting too close to the launch site.

(SpaceX notes: “The vehicle is still healthy; the payload is healthy.” And oh, thank the heavens, I was so worried.)

Now what I’m wondering is: Once SpaceX ramps up its satellite-sending plans … once both Virgins (phrasing?) get their acts together and launch what they’ve hyped up … where will the space debris conversation be?

Twitter, probably.

Do you think there will be a growing call for space companies to, you know, clean up after themselves?

Heck, even back in 2018, the majority of Americans said they had little to no faith in private space companies minimizing debris … and today’s chart shows exactly how much more debris has been left since then.

Satellites (almost) hitting space stations. Dead rockets cratering on the moon. Elon Musk can say: “Space is just extremely enormous, and satellites are very tiny” all he wants … but just wait until space junk downs a satellite that takes out his Twitter.

Ah, I can see the future Great Stuff Picks now … recommending the best space waste management stocks to buy. Ugh.

Until then, if you’re looking to launch yourself headfirst into the space market, you’re looking for Paul :

If you are NOT investing in space companies … you are missing out on the profit opportunity not just of the decade … but of the entire century. That’s why, for some people…

My No. 1 space stock could mean the biggest windfall of their lives.

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Once you’re done checking that out, be sure to let me know your thoughts on the whole space debris debacle. Write to us whenever the market muse calls to you! GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com is where you can reach us best.

In the meantime, here’s where you can find our other junk — erm, I mean where you can check out some more Greatness:

Until next time, stay Great!

The Great Stuff Team